A Tale of Game Play Guarantee Spite

Store: EB Games
Location: Toronto, ON
Employee Description: Bucktooth McSlowbrain
Submitted By: PS2 Collector

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with EB Games. As a collector, I don’t like to buy their game play guarantee bullsh*t as it would be far to expensive. My game collection sits at a whopping 300 titles, most of them purchases used at EB Games within the past three years.

So, I’m in an EB Games located in Mississauga, buying a game… I think it was Devil May Cry 2, but don’t quote me on that. I take the case up to the counter, and hand over my well-worn Edge card.

Bucktooth: Would you like to buy a game play guarantee?
Me: No thanks, but could I look at the disc?
Bucktooth: Why would you want to do that?
Me: Why spend two bucks on a game play guarantee when I can take a look at the disc and determine whether or not I think it’ll work?
Bucktooth: Well, the game play guarantee covers all breakages, not just defects.
Me: No thanks.
Bucktooth: Are you sure? It’s only two bucks.
Me: Again, no thanks.
Bucktooth: But what if it breaks?
Me: I’m not typically stupid or careless. The game costs fifteen bucks. I’ll take the chance that I might possibly wreck it.
Bucktooth: Are you sure?
Me: You know what? No, I’ll take that game play guarantee!

So the employee rings up the purchase, I pay the two extra bucks, then leave. Ten minutes later I walk in with the thoroughly flattened case, almost like it’d been run over by a car… mainly because it had been, several times. I’d tossed the bag into the street and watched it happen myself.

Bucktooth: What the hell happened?
Me: Oh, you know. I was walking across the street and the game dropped. I picked it right back up, but this was how it got damaged in the fall!
Bucktooth: Well, I’m not sure I can replace it…
Me: Oh, but I bought the game play guarantee! You said no matter what happened to the game within the next year, I could bring the game back and replace it!
Bucktooth: Uh…

After some argument, I got a second copy of Devil May Cry 2. The spite was worth the extra two bucks. I don’t feel the slightest bit of guilt. The company probably earns thousands upon thousands of dollars from people who buy the game play guarantee and totally forget about it, or even trade the game back to the company a couple weeks or months later.